Recently I have felt that my life has become stagnant. I've felt like im just in a routine of living. I know this isn't who I really am and what I really want to do. I have not been satisfied by playing video games all day every weekend even though I have been with friends. At this point I realized what I was missing was a social life. The kind that LAN parties cannot satisfy. The challenge here was how could I make new friends when these people already have groups of their own? How could I become part of their group?
The reality is it is difficult to want to meet or talk with someone when they are already surrounded by friends. The intimidation of groups is a natural thing and groups are ever present. So knowing this and that I needed to overcome it all that I might progress in my life, I began to experiment.
After trial and error many times through, I noticed a few things that seemed to be more successful than others. Hopefully anyone who reads this will be saying to themselves "Hey, duh! Of course that is what you need." But for those who don't say that, it might be a good idea to consider trying it out.
In a day and age where communication is primarily conducted through technology and secondarily through personal interaction I have noticed that many people lack confidence in interpersonal skills when they are actually in physical proximity to others. That is why the first important thing to know and use when attempting to become part of the group is confidence. When I say confidence though, I want to focus on being confident in yourself, who you are, and what your skills are. Don't worry what other people think about you, because you are the most amazing person there is. That is true! Others will sometimes think you are cocky, but people always think negative thoughts of others no matter what. Just forget what they think about you and be confident with yourself.
The lack of confidence in one's self leads to fear, intimidation, reservation, and stagnation. So take charge of yourself and move forward with confidence. I promise you that as you make this change in your life, you will begin to see the blossoming growth of new relationships that will really matter in your personal progress.
Now as important as it is to be confident, the potential to be confident is just as negative as no confidence at all. Think about physics for a moment. If a ball is held in a hand at rest above the ground, it has energy, but potential energy. It isn't doing anything and it has no purpose. Now if the ball is dropped that potential energy becomes kenetic energy which is active and progressing. The action of dropping the ball is the next important step to progressing and becoming part of the group. This is taking the initiative. Somebody had to take the initiative to drop the ball for the potential energy to shift.
If we want to move forward, we also need to take the initiative and put into action our confidence. Change that potential to be confident and make it a motivation for actions. You can't wait for them to come to you if you want to meet them or be part of their lives, you need to take charge and introduce yourself into their lives. Then and only then have you started the process.
Finally one of the most important things to know and consider when developing relationships, especially when connecting with groups, is to focus on everyone but yourself. Obviously the goal is to benefit yourself by gaining new relationships and becoming the new member of a group. This is not what you want to be thinking when you initiate your contact with others. Focus on them and they will return the favor.
Isn't the idea here to get the group to accept you and want you around? If so then they also want the same treatment. It is important to focus on them, their abilities, their needs, their words, etc. As this occurs it is necessary to complement all of these positive things about them. When they see that you are focused on them and you have complemented them as well, they will want you around because you validate who they are. They most likely will also return the favor.
These are few examples of things that I have experienced with much success and I consider them to be very important in becoming part of new groups.
